In many cases, the word help means to make something easier for someone else by providing your service, money, or resources. When addiction is involved, the best way to help the addict is by detaching yourself from the situation. Don’t let yourself try and manage the behavior. You can love the addict, but you have to let go of the outcome of their experience, no matter how hard it sounds. Above all, you cannot continue enabling the addict. You must allow the addict to figure out how to handle their addiction on their own. If they are going to recover, they have to decide to recover themselves.
The first step to help yourself recover and heal is to accept that your loved one has a problem. They may be demonstrating emotional or physical abuse, unemployment, isolation, or medical problems. You need to acknowledge that they are an alcoholic and that you cannot fix this problem for them. This is a struggle they have to decide to fight on their own. It can be helpful to make a list of all of the ways drinking gets in the way of your relationship with the alcoholic. The list can help you understand exactly what you can do to help them, and everything you cannot help.
The second step in healing is being able to let some things go. When you see your loved one suffering, your natural instinct is to help end the suffering no matter the cost. What you need to understand is that you can’t make a person quit by telling them to or showing them the right way. You can’t force someone to speak. They may say the words you want, but they didn’t pick them and they won’t affect them or anyone around them. You can threaten the addict, beg, tell them what to do, show them the facts, cry, or scream. None of it can make the addict quit and quit for good. They have to take the action and initiate the change. You need to make room for the addict, and let them make their own decisions for their future.
The third step is to identify the things that you have the ability to control and to let go of the things you can’t. By doing this, you can become more calm and logical. You can remove any excuse for why they drink. Accept that they drink because of their own choices, not because of anyone else. The last step is making choices for yourself. Make the decisions that are going to be best for you because you can’t make the addict heal, but you can rise above it yourself.
LEAD Recovery Center can help you overcome addiction by providing a calm, supportive environment. The trained professionals and staff can create a treatment plan that is going to be beneficial to you. You don’t have to face addiction recovery alone. Call (800) 380-0012 for more information.
